(illus. by Taz Jurz)

When I was alive, I was alone, and I liked it that way.

Maybe it's because my parents were such assholes. Maybe it's because I couldn't make any friends in school, or college. Maybe it's because everyone I worked with turned out to be stupid, or no one I wanted to associate with.

So I lived alone, and I liked it.

Sure, I was lonely, sometimes. Who wouldn't be? But every time I tried to get close to someone I fucked it up royally. I was okay for a one night stand or a staff party, but that was about it.

Any longer than that and I found myself wanting to punch the other guy out, or call the 'date' on his bullshit. Any longer and it was like I was drowning in the other person. I didn't know what to do when the conversation stopped, and I was just staring into space, thinking of how to get away from the table...

So I lived alone, and I liked it.

But then I got old alone, and I died alone.And when I got here, faced with my Shadow, I found out what loneliness really was.

I don't like being alone, anymore...

"Welcome to The Rest of Your Death"


So you were Asleep.

You were dead, but you didn't know it. You wandered around, doing what you thought you had to, probably scaring the crap out of enough people to fill a classroom while you were at it. And hey, maybe you got your old house put on the National Registry of Haunted Houses?

Not bad, my friend. Not bad at all...

...but now you're Awake, and you're in Hell.


Oh, you think I'm exaggerating? You just Woke Up. I've got years on your ass, my friend, and take it from me when I say you should have stayed in bed.

'Cause now you get to find out that as bad as being alive could be, it doesn't hold a candle to being dead. Oh no.

Being dead is worse - much, much worse.


You've got all kinds of problems, now that you're Awake. Your Anchors need looking after, that little voice inside your head wants to fuck you up, and every time you turn around the Damned are trying to kill you all over again.

And then there's the crazy Pardoners, trying to save you one minute and kill you the next. And then there's the Reapers... maybe a Dark Walker if you're really unlucky.

And then there's those Storms, right out out nowhere, trying to take you back down to Hell with them. Or else screwing you up so bad that you wish they would have erased you from the face of the Earth...

Make no mistake - this place wants to kill you.


Yeah, well, you could just stay here. You wouldn't be the first Solitary S.O.B. I met that made it on his own. Wouldn't be the first to just up and disappear, either.

But take it from me when I say that you are gonna need friends, my friend. Damn are you gonna need friends.

And let me tell you about your first friend and worst enemy, and that's this whole city, right here. Best friend and worst nightmare, all in one.

You can find new friends there, but you'll find problem people, too. You can find shelter, there, too, but that's half the reason those problem people want to be your problem. And when you got a problem, you can find people to take care of it for you, but maybe someday you'll be someone else's problem, and then they'll get your number.

Yeah, that's the city. It'll help you when you need it, and it'll cut you when you get too close. But without friends, you're nothing, here.

Solitude is Suicide.


So how's about you take that chip off your shoulder and come and meet some people? I mean, what the hell have you got to lose... other than what's left of your ass if you stay here by your lonesome?

Hey, at least shake hands. Maybe you'll like them, and maybe you won't, but if you don't then there's no harm done. It's not like we're gonna twist your arm to make you stay. Hell, you might not have the chops to keep up, anyway...

Yeah, that's the spirit. Come on. They're just down the ways, here, holed up in the warehouse you got told never to go play in when you were a kid.

Ever wonder why...?


Come on... join the party