"Well, anyways, we're coming up on my place, so your ride's gotta end here." The Chevy Impala rolled to a stop in a driveway in front of a dark, vacant house in Quincy. "Thanks a lot, been great talking to you," I say. "You seem like an interesting guy," our driver chuckles. "I'm full of surprises,"
I say aloud, grinning inside. Then to my better half, I whisper:
"Hey, Dominic, wake up." He's never got used to the idea that I actually talk to others using his body while he's resting up. He gets freaked out at things like that, mostly because he has no idea what I'm telling people and how often I do it. He silently gets out of the car and stumbles down the street,
trying to manage an amicable grin and wave as he's trying to
spit out "Thank you," one last time.
"You TALKED to him while I was asleep?!?" Dom thought when we were alone. "Yeah, well, you were asleep and he wanted to talk, so I stepped in and chatted for a bit. He's not a bad guy." "Did he notice the change in personality?" "He doesn't know you at all, so how could he possibly tell it was your little guardian angel and not you?" "What did you talk about?" "Just stuff," I said as innocently as a little kid lying about not breaking his mother's vase. "That's what you always say when I find out you've talking behind my back, damn it. Did you tell him anything about me?" "A little..." "Like what?" "Just stuff," I say with a chuckle: "Don't worry, I didn't mention the whole 'reanimated cadaver' thing. Take a left up at this street here and go down a ways. Frank says there's a train station that could take you to Braintree." "Frank?" "Yeah, that's his name." "And how exactly are we going to get on the train." "Check your jacket pocket, Dom." "He said that you needed it more than he did. Obviously I wasn't going to argue with him."
We plodded down the street towards the train station somewhere in the distance. It was about 2:30 in the morning at this point. "Well, we've got time to kill, buddy. Just take a walk for a while. Take a look at the world. What do you think?" Of course, I wasn't going to ask a question like that unless I already knew the answer, but I wanted to see how closely my boy was paying attention to things. "What do you mean, 'What do you think?' " "Take a look around at where you are, Dom. This is the world; the living, breathing world. You can feel the breeze against your skin, you can see the traffic lights changing color, you can smell and taste of the gasoline from that station right there. You're doing what hundreds of other souls can only dream and fantasize about..." I let that sink in for a moment. Dominic stopped walking and leaned up against a brick building, his eyes wandering down the empty street, only the red and green traffic lights giving any sign of movement or life to the scene whatsoever. "What are you thinking right now?" "I miss Rosemary," he moaned as he slid down the side of the building, plopping down on the sidewalk with his back against the wall and his legs stretched out halfway across the pavement like a little pile of misery. "We're still miles away," he said, and I noticed his heart was aching. "But this is what you wanted, right?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent and amicable as I could manage. There was an undercurrent of 'Be careful what you wish for' leaking through that question like a sieve, but I hoped it didn't come off sounding snobby. "I can't feel anything. I can feel the suit on my back and the pavement under my feet and the burning in my heart, but I don't feel..." "...alive?" I suggested. "Right," he agreed. "I don't feel alive. I'm walking around, I'm in the world, but I'm apart from it, I guess. There isn't a single actual, living person I could possibly talk to about this. I feel hollow. I feel..." "...lonely?" "Exactly," "Well, did you listen to what everyone was saying before we left?" I scolded. "What do you mean?" "They warned you about this,
Dominic! They told you it wasn't going to be easy. Even I knew
this wasn't going to be a walk in the park. You're not alive
and you're not going to feel alive ever again. You're in the
real world physically right at this very moment, so enjoy whatever
you can, because this is as good as it's going to get." He wanted to live again, but that was never a possibility.
Apparently he didn't listen to that part of the briefing from
the Puppeteers or the guys from the United Being path. I let Dominic have his sorrowful moment. I was the shoulder from him to cry on, as usual. I soaked up all his sorrow, loneliness, apprehension, fear, bitterness, hatred, disappointment, and everything else that he had to pour out. I think we both came out better in the end.
|